On the panel was Dr. Peter Jones (uOttawa, a specialist on Iran), Dr. Omar Ashour (Exeter University, specialist on radical Islamic groups in Egypt) and Barak Barfi (research fellow New America foundation). The lecture was extremely relevant given the Canadian government’s emerging policy toward the region, the concerns about security threats to Canada emerging from the political upheaval and the Canadian government’s aggressive stance towards Iran and its nuclear weapons.

The first panellist, Dr. Omar Ashour, provided a brief overview of what happened after the Egyptian revolution on January 25, 2011. Islamic parties benefited considerably from the parliamentary elections but a military council, the Supreme Council of the Armed Forces, holds real power in the country. The original revolutionaries, who were largely secular, attempted to organize political parties but did not do very well in the parliamentary elections. However, some formerly radical Islamic radical groups, including some smaller groups which had been affiliated with Al Qaeda, have made a transition to becoming political parties and contested the recent parliamentary elections. Dr. Ashour felt that there were two paths that the political situation in Egypt could take. The best case scenario is that revolutionaries and the newly elected parliament work together in ousting the military from power. The worst case scenario is that the military stays in control by manipulating political tensions between secular and Islamic political parties. In the question period I asked Dr. Ashour if there was a danger that formerly radical Islamic groups would return to violence. Dr. Ashour indicated that as long as there was real progress made to democratization, these groups would remain within the political process.

The second speaker Barak Barfi, who spoke on the difficulty in controlling the weapons left behind by the Ghaddafi regime in Libya. A large number of surface to air missiles and other forms of munitions have not been properly accounted for. Regional governments such as Chad and Mali that depended on Ghadaffi’s aid are in a difficult position now that he has fallen. There is some concerned that radical Islamic groups may obtain the weapons left behind by the Ghadaffi regime. Concerns about Libya’s uranium deposits are overblown, as it would be very difficult for the type of uranium in Libya to be sold or smuggled.

The final speaker was Dr. Peter Jones. Dr. Jones indicated that there is very little prospect for political change in Iran currently. There is widespread dissatisfaction with the regime but few opposition leaders who have not been jailed. Most Iranians have little stomach for further political upheaval. The ‘Arab Spring’ has had a net negative effect on Iran’s foreign policy, it has destabilized its ally Syria and it has led Palestinian militant groups like Hamas to find new supporters. Dr. Jones believes that the Obama administration does not want regime change in Iran and would be able to live with a compromise over the nuclear program. However, there are segments of the US Congress and parts of the Israeli government that want regime change in Iran. Of particular note, the US Congress has passed sanctions against Iran which President cannot turn off without Congressional approval. Even if Iran compromises, the sanctions would be subject to a strongly anti-Iran US Congress. Much of the recent standoff and increase in tensions between Iran and the United States has to do with the sanctions passed. Iran interprets these as a tactic to change the regime. The danger in a hard-line approach is that it closes off diplomacy. Dr. Jones was very critical about Prime Minister Harper’s comments that the mentality of Iran’s leaders was such that they would not be dissuaded by mutually assured destruction and could use nuclear weapons, if they ever got them. Dr. Jones indicated that while the proliferation of Nuclear weapons to Iran would be a bad thing, but there is no evidence that the Iranian regime is actively pursuing nuclear weapons. However, it appears that the Iranian government wants to build the capacity to assemble nukes very quickly. This suggests that the purpose of Iran’s program is for deterrence against foreign aggression.

Overall the talk was a very useful perspective on the complexities of the Middle East. For the Canadian perspective, it suggests that supporting further democratic reforms in Egypt may be the best antidote to Islamic militancy, that we should be very sceptical of the Canadian government’s views on Iran and that the fall of Ghadaffi may have created serious regional issues for the North African region.

This weekend I saw ‘Melancholia’ again (I actually enjoyed it a lot more than I did initially). But the stand out film was ‘Shame’ by Steve McQueen (no, not THAT Steve McQueen) who had previously directed the fantastic ‘Hunger’. In short it is a movie about a man who suffers from sex addiction I thought it was fantastic, though very different from Hunger. It is a less ambitious, more personal picture. I’d recommend the film, it is a a very subtle and moving picture of a man in a truly difficult place.

SPOILERS & Trailer after the jump.

This film has some exquisite shots and scenes. I’ll never forget the absolutely horrifying sequence starting when the protagonist (Michael Fassbender) realizes he’s left his depressive (and suicidal) sister alone in his apartment, the look of complete panic in the elevator ride and the absolutely horrifying reveal that she’s tried to kill herself as she lies slumped in the bathroom. The contrast between the black tile, the blue of the room and the blood makes the whole thing a total shock (the fact that you’ve been led to believe that she might have thrown herself infront of a subway train makes it even worse when he finds her).

Man, I gasped, that scene was like a punch in the gut.

The music was fantastic and discordant in that scene. The rest of the music in the film, particularly the main theme, is a bit overdone and melodramatic, but is sparingly used.

Other incredible sequences- the jogging scene in downtown new york- the way that it was totally fluid and done in a single take is impressive both technically but also the way it gets you into his mind set of wanting mindless repetition/release. The very funny, very awkward, dinner/date sequence with the co-worker was great as well.

Two friends pointed out the look on the protagonist’s face after the ‘three-way’ scene- the awful way it looks drawn and dead despite apparently being in the throes of passion. It looked a bit silly to me and I quickly forgot it. Apparently it didn’t really have the same impact with me that it did with them.

I find it interesting that the label ‘sex addict’ keeps being used to describe the main character when it isn’t used in the movie. It is probably accurate, but I like the way the film didn’t deal with it as something external to his “real” problems (which i took that the film implied sexual abuse of his sister and him by his father).

Him having lots of sex seems more a symptom of something fucked up within him, rather than the sort of 1950s stereotype of an addict the narrative of a “good kid who tried _____ and then became an addict”.

I got a bit weirded out as well that he was being very free and loose- the film never indicated or even implied he used condoms. The man must be a walking petri-dish.

I’m one of the new interns at the Rideau Institute. As part of my position I will be blogging at Ceasefire.ca for the semester. I’m trying to give a progressive perspective to Canadian defence and security related issues. I’ll be cross posting my stuff here though. My first two blog posts are here:

 1) Five Minutes to Midnight 

2) Is the covert war with Iran becoming overt?

Until then, stay frosty and keep listening to good music. Here is some of the finest hip-hop to come out of New York in the past couple of years.

Love that old school beat.

Should be no surprises here for people who know me- I tend toward melancholic ugly music made by ugly people for ugly people.

Except for me. I am pretty.

Albums of the Year:

 1. Wolvhammer- The Obsidian Plains

Man, not since the album ‘Summit’ by ‘Thou’ has there been an album that pinned me to my seat from start to finish. Frankly what makes this album so great is how hard it rocks, it just rips into these meaty riffs, blithely switching between sludge, black and ‘post’ metal. My one quibble with the album is that you need to be sure you can handle the intensity before you put it on.

2. SubRosa- No Help for the Mighty Ones

This has been the year of gorgeous metal by ladies. This is some fascinating pagan-stoner-folk. Sounds like something by forest hippies right? Totally wrong bub. This is the sort of heavy pagan music by people who sound like they would feast upon your worthless entrails. Heavy, bleak and thrilling. If you aren’t listening to this album by the end of this paragraph, do not go out into the woods alone. These women will find you.

3. The Wounded Kings- In The Chapel of the Black Hand

This is a close second to SubRosa’s album. The Wounded Kings were a good by same-y sounding Doom metal band. Then they dropped their dude vocalist and brought in a terrifying female vocalist who just murders every single song. She manages to tread the line between creepy and operatic and has one of the most incredible ranges in heavy music. I’d have given this the top spot if there were more than 3 real songs on the album (though each clocks in at roughly 12 minutes).

4. Mantana Roberts- Coin Coin Chapter One

This is a peculiar one. Basically it consists of stream of consciousness vocals in slam poetry form (some in French) over free jazz. Totally fascinating, I can’t say that I come home every day and feel like putting this album on, but when I shop for groceries there is some strange connection between her rants on gender, sexuality, being black, capitalism and my purchase of produce.

5. Loss- Despond

This is one of those albums that might make its way up the list as I listen to it more and more. Bleak and bleaker. This is some grim music. This starts with a the track ‘weathering the blight’ and manages to get MORE alienating and dark as it goes on. Nothing will beat that ‘Golden Palominos’ concept album told from the point of view of a soon to be murdered victim for the most depressing CD ever but this might be a close second.

6. Anaal Nathrakh- Passion

When this album came out, I thought for sure it would be number 1 and yet here it is at number 6. I love Anaal Nathrakh, and this is probably one of their best albums yet, but it is still a bit too similar to the previous ones, particularly ‘In the Constillation of the Black Window’. Despite that, there are some truly deranged tracks here where it feels like they have broken through and discovered new and innovative levels of aggression. I can’t help but imagine V.I.T.R.I.O.L as the angriest person in the world. Part of me likes to imagine that this whole track was written in a blind fury about bread being stuck in his toaster.

7. Tim Hecker- Ravendeath, 1972

I find it hard to measure how good an ambient album is, because when I truly love music like this, it crowds out all my thoughts- all I can think of are beats and fuzz and drone. This is one of those albums. While not Hecker’s best (nothing beats Radio Amor) this will stand tall. This is music to be trapped in a snow storm to.

8. Amon Tobin- ISAM

Montreal’s mad man does it again. After a long time releasing nothing, he puts out this truly bizarre continuation of ‘Foley Room’. Strange noises, crisp production, funky off-kilter beats. Most of the electronic music that came out this year bored me, not this one. Also Amon Tobin pitch shifts his vocals to sound like a girl singing about her ‘kitty cat’. If that doesn’t sell you on the album, I’m not sure what will.

9. Altar of Plagues- Mammal

One of the best ‘post black metal’ groups making music today, this is a towering monument to epic. They aren’t scared to go outside their comfort zone and are considerably less goofy than Agalloch. While Agalloch will still beat these guys any day for me, they didn’t release anything this year, so Altar of Plagues is the closest thing you’ll get.

10. 40 Watt Sun- The Inside Room

This was a strange one for me; gloomy vocals to heavy guitars. Sort of like something 35 year olds would listen to while talking about Tortoise. I can’t abide by clean male vocals. I have argued in the past that you probably should not make music with vocals unless you scream out in utter, soul bearing anguish and despair. 40 Watt Sun caused me to rejig my opinions. There is something to his voice that I can’t get out of my head. While the tracks are all a bit similar, it is a good formula to repeat.

I had no idea who she was at the time, but I connected to her dirty, super lo-fi beats and I’ve been hooked ever since.

I’ve never felt so in tune with someone I’ve projected for, and never felt so confident that I was really expressing that connection visually. Sadly I was projecting on a less than ideal surface in a semi-lit bar, so I doubt anyone was able to see what I was trying to go for. Still, this track killed me, the tone in her voice, the lonely isolation, the weird off kilter sounds. I’m back to Ottawa now, but I’ve resolved to start projecting again this semester, just to try and get back to that feeling.

The Island Song – U.S. Girls from Ross Turnbull on Vimeo.

UPDATE: some footage from the show here

I’ve changed. and not for the better.

Clichéd navel gazing will ensue, you’ve been warned.

I look back at my last two years of university (2006-2007), I see what I was becoming, what I wrote what I thought. It wasn’t happy then. Well, not all the time. But I was me. Now that I am in Ottawa (and especially this holiday back in Calgary) I get this exhausting feeling of having to put on a false skin.

I think back to that time. I was stressed out, scared, anxious, nervous and excited. I wasn’t ready emotionally for a lot of things that I was trying to juggle. I couldn’t balance life and school and being involved in everything. But I tried, and managed to pull somethings off, others not.

I felt safe and I haven’t felt as safe since. Safety for me is beleving that no matter what happens I will not truly fail. True, I used anxiety as a way of getting the blood pumping and the work done, but I knew, deep down that I’d still do it, I’d come through, things would happen. University gave me a misleading sort of confidence- the kind that comes from having minuscule rewards blown out of proportion (I got an “A” on the paper! clearly my life will be a success).

Graduation and the aftermath taught me that is not how the world works. I went through a sort of  post-partum depression for about 9 months.

I went to India and I went to Pakistan. I couldn’t make that me. I was feeling too raw, too messed up to really take everything I wanted to or needed to out of it, but I took as much as I could. The bomb blast in Islamabad didn’t change my mind, it was an excuse to do something I’d already decided to do. I tell myself that things had run their course in both Delhi and Islamabad, but that isn’t true- I couldn’t deal with how I was feeling anymore.

The London Ontario interlude was a strange time. It was safe, but I never felt that way. Every single second of my time there felt like I should be preparing for the next thing, I obsessed about it, lost sleep and meals over it. I could not imagine *staying* there. I told my boss in my first meeting with her that I will be out in 3 years, and that I would be moving to Ottawa. And almost to the month I was.

Everything became about moving on. What I should act like, who should I be friends with, what I should do, what should I learn. I need to stop doing things that might affect my move. Don’t get attached. Cut things out, become serious, clean up, force myself to do what I thought was growing up. The process of thinking and planning moving became much more involving than actually doing anything to bring me to Ottawa. I became stuck in plots and schemes. I wasn’t even sure if it was Ottawa that I wanted to go to. I just needed a process to work through.

I didn’t get jobs I wanted, I didn’t get transferred, I didn’t apply for university, I didn’t have the courage just to move. My mother became sick so I had yet another excuse to continue planning and delaying.

Gradually, I got better. I felt comfortable. I met amazing people in London, I went on tour with a band, I learned how to edit video, I started doing video work and improvising visuals for bands. Things made me realize how much I left behind; I lost a really good friend over the summer. I became myself again. I moved on. I applied, I got into the school I wanted.

Now what?

For all the planning and stress and work. I hate many of my days.

I love my program for the professors, for the conversations, for the thrill of arguing with smart people again.

But I know much of why I wanted to come back to school wasn’t the program, it was that feeling of being safe; finding self worth in outsized reward from a minor achievement.

But I’m not finding the same reward I used to in getting a good mark, or finding an obscure bit of research or phrasing a sentence just right. I’m not going to diminish their importance entirely, but the more I keep trying to convince myself that they are all I should be caring about, the less interesting it seems.

I keep having fantasies of doing things again that are in a slightly different direction from what I’ve been doing: Improving my writing so that I can try my hand at getting published & maybe journalism, figuring out travel abroad again (but whatever will I do with my furniture?), figuring out a big research project, getting involved with Amnesty again, hanging out with strange people again, looking into a radio show, getting into music, getting back to projecting, working on my own music/sounds again, working on video editing, getting a proper camera. But it is hard when I’m supposed to be ‘growing up’, ‘being realistic’ and ‘focussing’.

I’m sick of people giving me simplistic answers that I should ‘find what I love and do it’. We do things for emotions far more complicated than just love or enjoyment- thrill, anger, fear, anxiety, sadness- awful feelings have helped me do things and be things that when I look back I am proud of, even though I may have felt terrible while doing it. Maybe this is just one of those times.

AFP: On The Run With Pakistan’s Taliban:

“Nothing terrifies Pakistani Taliban fighter Tariq Wazir more than US drones, a harbinger of instant death invisible to the naked eye and proof of America’s mastery of the skies.

Each time he hears the low hum reminiscent of a bumble bee, fear clutches his heart and he remembers how 20 of his comrades were pulverised by missiles they never saw coming in Pakistan’s tribal areas.

Gone are the days of communicating by phone and travelling freely. Instead he spends his days praying or reading newspapers in safe houses, moving under the cover of darkness, trying to keep one step ahead and stay alive.

…

The fighters prepared their own food, collecting firewood from the mountains and sipping on green tea, offering the Mountain Dew soft drink to guests.

Halwa, a local sweet, was served on arrival. Dinners were generous helpings of beef, mutton or chicken, served up with rice, potatoes and vegetables.

Dried fruits and nuts are a popular snack, peanuts and cashews a particular favourite.”

AP: Journey with Taliban shows militants’ resilience:

Fusion has been always questionable for me, because the product never ends up being true to either musical tradition and the explicitly political baggage it brings with it. Feel free to reconcile east and west, but most of the time you should just leave the music out of it.

This is a rare occasion where it works. Moroccan vocalist Amina Alaoui’s  voice and the percussion create this momentum and build up. Just listen to it.

I’ve seen it go a few ways, sometimes the musician screws up, it gets too complicated and you have a rough transition. Most of the time the artist is prepared enough and can pivot to bring it back to something familiar.

Sometimes though, there are moments of absolute musical perfection, where something unexpected happens- a note, a beat, something- that brings everyone to a musical place that neither the audience or musician intended. And it works.

The same thing happens in writing, even in research papers. I find it usually happens when I am correcting a wonky sentence. In that weird misshapen sentence you find something that makes an unexpected connection. For a moment everything falls into place, it can even change the direction of a whole essay. Even if the paper turns out to be weak, I can take comfort in the fact that there was a moment where I *got* it.

You can’t plan for it, but I’m hoping that exact sort of moment will come during the absolutely epic amount of writing I have to do over the next week.

Fingers crossed that I can pull a Coltrane.

Track of the Week: Stellar Regions- John Coltrane